Is Donna there?

THE MID-TERMS, series 2.

This follows a scene that was sadly cut but is on the bonus DVD that came with my box set, where Donna is at Josh’s during his recovery and CJ calls. She asks if Donna is there and he says no (but then is forced to retract the lie).

DONNA: Why did you lie?
JOSH: What do you mean?
DONNA: Why d’you lie to CJ, about me being here? You said I wasn’t here, and then you pulled that face like you were being naughty.
JOSH: I –
DONNA: Because we’re not being naughty, Josh.
JOSH: (playfully and flirtatiously) Doctor’s orders, Donna, believe me, if I could...
DONNA: (in telling-off mode) Josh!

DONNA: It’s okay that I’m here. They know I’m here a lot. It seemed like you feel guilty about that.
JOSH: Yeah, it’s just...
DONNA: What?
JOSH: (embarrassed) Well, we’re – practically in bed together here.
DONNA: (smiles) You wish.
JOSH: Yeah. And therein lies the problem.

Donna looks at him quizzically, trying to work out if he is being playful or serious this time. The viewers aren’t sure either.
Fade out.

Another Alternative Ending for War Crimes, #307

NB: for this to make sense, you need to first read Series 2, post ep 10 - Noel - cut scene and possibly also http://donnamoss.blogspot.com/2009/08/noel.html

Josh and Donna are waiting together for Cliff to return with Donna's diary. It's cold. It's tense.

DONNA: (nervously breaking the silence) You didn't, you know...
JOSH: Read it?
DONNA: Yeah.
JOSH: (sad and shocked that she would think that) Donna...
DONNA: (embarrassed, not looking at him) Of course not. Sorry. I shouldn't have asked, it's just...
JOSH: (quietly, after a pause) I've read your diary before.
DONNA: (slightly panicky) When?
JOSH: At the hospital...
DONNA: Oh Josh, that was...
JOSH: What?
DONNA: You know. Heat of the moment stuff.
JOSH (disappointed) Oh. So you didn’t mean it.
DONNA: Well...
JOSH: (smiling triumphantly) Of course you meant it.
DONNA: Josh, we can’t...
JOSH: I know. We can’t go there. Just... maybe... Come here...

He wraps his arms around her.

JOSH: Maybe I could hold you for a while?

She doesn't object, and they sit, embracing, for a while.

DONNA: (breaking the embrace to look at him) Josh?
JOSH: Yeah?
DONNA: The holding each other thing didn’t work out so well in When Harry Met Sally, did it?
JOSH: Well, that depends how you look at it. I think it ended very well.

They look tenderly at each other and smile. Donna rests her head on Josh's shoulder and he puts his arm around her.

Molly Morello's diary (extract...)

The oddest and most heart-warming thing happened today.

The President of the United States called to wish me a happy retirement. At least, I think it was him. I’m still expecting someone to shout out APRIL FOOL any minute. (Not that it’s April, but I’m struggling to think of a more likely explanation..) We had a fantastic conversation about Twelfth Night and something about James Bond I’m ashamed to say I didn’t quite understand.

But as blown away as I was by that, that isn’t what brought a tear to my eye.

“I’m in the Oval Office with the President of the United States, and it’s because of you.”

What a thing to say! I really don’t think I did very much at all, but it’s a privilege to have been involved in a life like hers.

I love all my students, of course (well, most of them), and my deepest desire has always been that that they would achieve their full potential. But Donnatella was something special. You could see it from the spark in her eyes when she talked about the things she was passionate about, and her unending devotion to those things and reluctance to change the subject before she obtained the result she was looking for.

So I’m not surprised she’s working for a Bigger Cause, and I’d be even less surprised were I to discover that she was doing it with zeal, fervor and a determination and devotion that far outstrip the undoubtedly enormous demands on her.

I always knew she was destined for greatness.

Or is that too easy to say with the benefit of hindsight?

I hope that she is happy.

And I know this isn’t a politically correct thing to say these days (no pun intended), but I hope too that she has a man who is worthy of her; who is aware of the privilege of being entrusted with such a precious life; who will love her, honor her, and help her to become all she can be. She so wanted to be married, to be loved, to be treasured. She looked for it in odd places sometimes. I hope that has changed. There was something in her voice that told me it might have – something of confidence and added maturity.

God, I pray that You would send her this man. That together they may have a nation-changing impact for the good of this country. And that they would be unspeakably happy.

And also that she might write me a bit more often... I miss our correspondance and occasional coffees.

Cautious optimism

This takes place sometime during the first year in office. I liked drunk Josh so decided to have a little fun with him...

Apologies for any Briticisms - I have no idea whether Americans call pyjamas PJs, and have the sneaky suspicion you might spell them pajamas anyway... I've just about made my peace with "favorite" and "I just saw him", but I'm afraid I am, and will always remain, a (lovable?) Brit. After all, you can take the girl out of England, but...

A drunk Josh knocks on Donna's door in the middle of the night. She opens and he stumbles in, tripping over the cat. He shouts an expletive in its direction.

Donna is exasperated and mostly sarcastic throughout. Josh is, well, drunk.

DONNA: (in a loud whisper) Shhh! It's the middle of the night.
JOSH: We lost the bill.
DONNA: (sighs) I know. I was there.
JOSH: How can we possibly have lost?
DONNA: Cautious optimism, Josh. How many times...? C'mon, let me get you some water.
JOSH: Where's your flatmate?
DONNA: Asleep, as are most normal people at this time.
CAREY: (calls out, exasperated) Not anymore!
JOSH: Oops.
DONNA: Yeah. (calls out) Sorry! (pours him some water)
JOSH: (somewhat whiny) Donna, why did we lose?
DONNA: I probably didn't do enough index cards.
JOSH: It's not your fault...
DONNA: I know. I was kidding. We lost, Joshua, because sometimes in politics we lose. (hands him the water)
JOSH: But it was a good bill. I really wanted it.
DONNA: Sometimes in life we don't get what we want. (She sighs wistfully)
JOSH: Huh?

DONNA: Drink the water.

JOSH: Yes, mom.

DONNA: Okay, you need to lose that. Now. You know, you're drunk and you won't remember this in the morning. So I can tell you I don't always get what I want either.

JOSH: Wo. Short sentences are good, Donna. Short ones.
DONNA: Never mind.
JOSH: You don't get what you want?
DONNA: No, Josh.
JOSH: And what is it that you want?
DONNA: I think the answer to that would be pretty hard to believe under current circumstances.
JOSH: Huh?
DONNA: Never mind. (throws him the sleeping bag.) Here's the sleeping bag. Here are two pints of water. (puts them down next to him) Drink them. I'll wake you in... (looks at clock) three and a half hours.
JOSH: You look cute in your PJs.
DONNA: Why, thank you, Josh. Maybe I'll wear them to work.
JOSH: Yeah... That would be good. Except I wouldn't get any work done.
DONNA: Here's your toothbrush.
JOSH: I have a toothbrush here?
DONNA: It's kind of worrying that that's how often you end up here. Try not to do this again too soon or Carey will have me evicted.
JOSH: She doesn't want an eligible Fulbright scholar in her flat?
DONNA: Not as much as she wants uninterrupted sleep. As do I. Drink the water, Josh. Good night.
JOSH: Good night, Donnatella. I mean it about the PJs.

Donna rolls her eyes, closes the door and smiles to herself.

Somewhere in Germany... (NB spoiler for season 5)

You wait.

You're not good at waiting, and she knows that. You wait, though, and that's your greatest gift to her right now.

You want to somehow transfer strength to her like she did to you when it was you on a hospital bed. You don't know if you believe in God - and if He's there, you have one or two things to take up with Him - but you tentatively pray for health and strength for her, the way she had for you. It seemed to work, after all. You have difficulty finding your words.

So you sit by her bedside, and you wait. And from time to time you whisper, "Donna, don't leave me. I can't do this without you." And you don't just mean the job. You mean life.

You want to say so much more, but that seems risky. There's a tiny chance she may hear you, and everything will change. And you're not sure you're ready. But if the worst were to happen, you'd want her to know how deeply you loved her.

You're pondering all this when she opens her eyes. You're sure your heart just skipped a beat. You walk over to her, responding to her calling you. You're still here. Of course you're still here. Where else would you be? Governing the country can wait. Everything else can wait. You're useless without her anyway.

She's so beautiful. Even here, looking so ill, so fragile, so damaged, so tired, to you, she's beautiful. You realise this sounds crazy, that this must mean there is no hope for you ever to recover from this... this... what is it? Infatuation? Obsession? No. You sense that this, in fact, is it. This is the love that you have been looking for all of your life. This is the love of two people who make it, who build a life together, who have children and grow old together and never look back. This is the love of soulmates, who know each other inside out and fit each other like a glove.

Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

You've found it, you've found her, and you're not letting her go. Not this time. Not ever again.

You long to kiss her. You longed to do that while she was unconscious, too. You wanted to be the prince in Sleeping Beauty. But life, sadly, is not a fairy tale, and yours is a complicated situation. You're not going to think about that for now, though. For now, she's awake. And your name is the first thing that crossed her lips.

You don't know which of those two things you are happiest about.

New Year's Eve, 1999

It’s New Year, 1999. A milestone in history is about to be reached, even though Sam claims otherwise. You finger your phone. Right there at the party. You’re drinking to everyone’s health and enjoying yourself but there is only one person you want to be with when the clock strikes. And you’ve just realised it isn’t Joey Lucas.

The countdown starts. You scroll down to D. Excuse yourself. The phone rings off – network down. Of course. Everyone is ringing their lov – I mean, the people they care about the most. And right there in the middle of this party surrounded by many people you are enjoying being with, you realise you desperately want to kiss this amazing woman who is out of reach, out of bounds, off limits. To kiss her till you both can’t breathe anymore. Wo – Josh. Calm down, you tell yourself. This isn’t good for your blood pressure.

Has she read the note? Has she read it over and over like you hoped she would? Has she understood the unspoken? Will things ever be the same between you? And if not, was it foolish of you to risk everything? What if she guesses what you meant? You wanted her to, and yet you are worried. What if she wants to act on it? You know you can’t. You’re so devoted to your job. She’s devoted to hers – or to you. You can’t tell. It’s difficult to analyse which is which. You, your job, her, her job... so inextricably linked. Inextricably. You like that word. You like the sound of it. You like the idea of being inextricably bound up with her. Inextricably so you to can’t tell where you end and she begins. Inextricably, forever, Josh, calm down. You cannot feel like this.

Shove it, it’s New Year’s Eve and you will feel like you want to feel. In the other room they are singing Auld Lang Syne. The twenty-first century has begun and you so wanted to begin it with her at your side. You finger your phone again. Scroll down to D. Network down. Yeah, I knew it. Hang on – it’s ringing. You feel your heart beating faster. Get a grip, you tell yourself. In a couple of days you have to work with this woman. You cannot be catching yourself wondering how soft this alabaster skin feels under that sweater... you cannot be...

“Hello?” She’s at a party too, it’s loud, you can barely hear her.

“Josh! Happy New Year!” You wanted to say it first. But as so often – she’s the initiator.

“Happy New Year to you too, “ you reply, which sounds so lame, so you add what you really want her to know, “I wish you were with me...”

She can’t hear you. It’s loud, she says, she has to step out, but by the time she has the moment has passed and you can’t bring yourself to repeat it. You weren’t sure it was appropriate the first time round. Appropriate? Like what has been going on in your head has been in any way appropriate. But well, there is so much to consider in this relationship, it’s all so complicated. Not that it’s a relationship as such, not the one you want, but..

“Josh?” she sounds concerned. You like it when she sounds concerned for you. You love it when she looks after you. “You still there?”

“Yup. I’m still here.” And you’re not, and I so want you to be, can I come over? You want to add, but you know you can’t.

“I just wanted to say happy new year...”

“You said that already.”

“Well, happy new millennium then.”

You can hear the smile in her voice. “You too.”

“Donna...” you love saying her name. You love the way it feels in your mouth. You want to say it so many times over and over, while you... Wo, brain. Come back to me please. Please try to behave.

“You’ve gone quiet again,” she points out in her own inimitable, organised fashion.

“Sorry. I don’t have that much to say.” Well, it’s not as big a lie as it sounds. You have a lot to say but none of it can be voiced, so that’s the same thing, right? Even you’re not convinced by that argument, though.

“Just, well, Happy New Year. “

“You’re repeating yourself.”

“Donna...” there you go again. Just keep focussed this time...
“Donna, I mean it. I want you to be happy this year.” There. That’s nice, and meaningful. Even if it stops short of saying you want to be the one making her happy.

But you love what she says next. “Josh, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. But thank you.”

Is that because of you? Is that because of what you wrote? You hope so. You so desperately hope so. But maybe it’s nothing to do with you. Maybe it’s actually just that she loves her job. Maybe she’s just met a hot Republican at this party of hers. Maybe she’s just at that point in her life when people...

Whatever.

“I’m glad,” you manage to remember to say, and you add, “let’s keep it that way...”

There’s silence. She doesn’t know what to say. You don’t either. You swallow hard. You probably shouldn't say this, but shove it. It's New Year's, and you can always blame it on the champagne if need be. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know – I was thinking of you tonight.”

“Me too.” It’s the kind of thing you’re meant to say in these situations, but you can hear in her voice that she means it, that she was looking for an excuse to say it.

You wonder about bringing in your favorite defence mechanism and making a joke about getting her drunk one New Year’s and seeing if you couldn’t make her even happier, but you resist. You don’t want to spoil this moment, which is already being spoilt by so many things. By her physical absence most of all. And by all those unsaid things, unsaid because that’s the way it has to be, for now, for a long time, for many more New Year’s Eves, many more Christmases, until one day you take her to Hawaii and tell her exactly how you feel and what you want from life. Life with her.

But that will have to wait. And so will you. You regretfully put the phone down, go back to the party and grab another drink before that thought can take hold and drive you into insanity and beyond.

Alternative Ending for War Crimes, #307

JOSH: It's starting to get cold already.

Donna looks at him, says nothing.

JOSH: It's going to be fine.

Donna looks at him again, says nothing.

JOSH: Donna, I -
DONNA: (interrupting) I hate it when you're mad at me.
JOSH: I hate being mad at you.
DONNA: I'm so sorry, Josh. For everything, I don't know what I was thinking. About any of it.
JOSH: Hey, it's okay. It's going be fine. We're going to be fine.

She smiles at him, weakly.

JOSH: It's getting cold already. (Puts his arm around her) C'mere...

Donna her head rests on Josh's shoulder and he holds her.

cut scene from the end of "The Ticket" (#701)

Sam Seaborn, looking tired but very handsome, is grabbing a rare and much-deserved lunchbreak in his office, munching an apple with his feet on the desk. His mobile rings. He picks it up without thinking or looking.

SAM: Yup.
DONNA: Sam. Hi. It’s Donna.

(Donna is sitting on her sofa, drinking hot chocolate and wearing one of Josh’s old sweaters.)

SAM: (pleasantly surprised) Donna Moss?
DONNA: Yes, Sam, Donna Moss. How many other Donnas do you know with my phone number?
SAM: (smiling) I see you haven’t lost your adorable sense of humor.
DONNA: Mmm. Thanks. How are you?
SAM: Thought you’d never ask. Worked off my feet but happy and engaged.
DONNA: Engaged? (her voice breaks slightly) That’s great news.
SAM: (suddenly concerned) Donna? Are you okay?
DONNA: Yes. No. Sam, I need to talk to you. Well I need to talk to someone and I figured –
SAM: You sound like you need a hug.
DONNA: (smiles) Yeah.
SAM: Donna, what’s going on?
DONNA: I don’t know where to – I mean, I don’t know how to -
SAM: Donna?
DONNA: You see, this is why I could never be a public –
SAM: Donna, is this about Josh?
DONNA: How did you...
SAM: It was bound to happen someday.
DONNA: What was bound to happen?
SAM: Whatever it is you’re about to tell me.

(Donna tells him the story, we don’t hear their conversation - Norah Jones’ “I don’t miss you at all” plays over shots of Sam and Donna talking plus scenes of Josh sitting thinking, and walking alone, ...)

Then fade back in:

SAM: I’m going to kill him.
DONNA: Okay, no. I don’t think that’s the solution.
SAM: Nobody makes you cry and gets away with it. I’m getting on a plane right now.
DONNA: Sam –
SAM: After everything you’ve done for him. After you were so reasonable when he went out with that irritating, shrill Amy woman...
DONNA: (smiles slightly) Sam, he’s done a lot for me too over the years. And let’s not forget that I left him.
SAM: You didn’t leave him, Donna. You left the job. That’s very different.
DONNA: I don’t think he sees it that way. (tears start streaming down her face)
SAM: Donna?
DONNA: Yup.*
SAM: I’m going to ask you this only once and I’m going to believe your answer.
DONNA: (bracing herself) Okay.
SAM: Are you in love with Josh?
DONNA: (pause for what seems like an eternity) Yes.
SAM: Wow. That was a lot easier than I expected. I can’t believe one of you finally admitted it after all this time.
DONNA: One of us?
SAM: Oh, Donna. You can’t possibly have failed to notice...
DONNA: What do you – what do you -
SAM: Donna, he’s been in love with you for years. I’m not sure even he realised it at times but it’s been clear as day to the rest of us. That’s a terrible cliché... Clear as... clear as... oh, never mind. Abundantly clear.
DONNA: Really?
SAM: Yes, of course really. * Listen, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know the end of the story. I don’t understand why he didn’t take you on. He meant it when he said he missed you. He can’t function without you. This will right itself. I promise.
DONNA: (incredulously) You promise?
SAM: Yes.
DONNA: How can you possibly promise?
SAM: Because, Donna, if it doesn’t I am getting on a plane and knocking some sense into him.
DONNA: (smiling, looking relieved) Okay.
SAM: Hang in there, kid.
DONNA: Okay.
SAM: And come to California for a hug and some sunshine.

They hang up. Donna looks a little shell shocked.




* I'm not sure how realistic/in character parts of this dialogue are - so feel free to cut out the part between the asterixes in your heads...

Alternative Dialog for The Cold

Okay, so here’s how I would have written that dialog in The Cold, although I have to admit it would not have made such good TV. Though it may have saved a few of us from putting our fists through our screens.

JOSH: I... want to apologize for this morning. I’m sorry. It was inappropriate.
DONNA: Don’t worry about it.
JOSH: Really?
DONNA: Seriously. It was bound to happen sometime.
JOSH: You think?
DONNA: Sure. Don’t worry about it. (She starts to walk away)
JOSH: Why do you think that is?
DONNA: What?
JOSH: That it was bound to happen sometime?

(Donna walks back towards him)

DONNA: You know what my favorite movie is, right?
JOSH: When Harry Met Sally... "a man and a woman can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way".
DONNA: (pleasantly surprised) Hey – you’ve remembered something I’ve taught you.
JOSH: You know, sometimes I do listen to you.
DONNA: Not often enough.
JOSH: Yeah. I’m a jackass sometimes.
DONNA: (smiling) Sometimes, yes.
JOSH: So why do you put up with me?
DONNA: It’s because of how handsome you are. And powerful. Remember?
JOSH: Donna, please don’t mess with me. I’m totally lost here.
DONNA: I’m only half messing. You are handsome. You are powerful. You’re also caring and sensitive and talented and passionate and inspiring and a million other things.
JOSH: Donna...
DONNA: So it was bound to happen sometime.
JOSH: You don’t think it’s because we’re meant to be together?
DONNA: Oh, Josh.
JOSH: I’m really asking you here.
DONNA: I don’t know what you want me to say.
JOSH: I want... I want... I want you... to...
DONNA: Josh. Are you really that blind?
JOSH: I’m a man, Donna. I need you to teach me a thing or two about the ways of love, remember?
DONNA: (smiles fondly at the memory) Yes.
JOSH: You want to be wooed. I remembered that too.
DONNA: Yes. So I’ll be expecting flowers and compliments. Especially after all the ones I've just handed you...
JOSH: You want me to woo you?
DONNA: You, or a hot Republican... doesn’t much matter who.
JOSH: Donna, please stop messing with my head.
DONNA: I’m sorry. Years of using humor as a defense mechanism. Years of...
JOSH: Of?
DONNA: Having to hide this.
JOSH: You shouldn’t have hidden it.
DONNA: Because?
JOSH: Because then we could have had a few more years of this... (kisses her tenderly; she puts her arms around him and kisses him back... )